How can we invite others in to our dying?

Photo: Doug Silsbee

"What is a love affair in reverse?"

- Stephen Jenkinson

Doug's dying process was pervaded by intimacy, openness, invitation, and generosity. This question was one we asked directly, and explored. It is also the question inside of his writing, together with his wife, at their blog, and inside the heart of this project as a whole. The conversations below often touch on other of our inquiry questions, and they seem to display particularly useful responses to this question. Worth noting: there is a "disclaimer" from Doug in a clip that is not on this page, which speaks directly to his (and our) bias on welcoming others in to the dying process. That clip can be seen on the June 29th video, at 8:30, titled "disclaimer", on the "how can we prepare" page.

June 1, 2018

0:40 - How do you welcome people in?

3:50 - Dying openly, dying privately

13:53 - Talking about death directly

17:22 - How do you speak to someone about their dying?

20:37 - Being with dying

29:00 - Intimacy and authenticity, the ordinary and the profound

33:00 - I get bored easily

35:25 - Dying is fascinating

June 1, 2018

1:30 - When I die

3:15 - Acknowledging the dying process

4:00 - a cartographer of dying

6:40 - Send me a sign?

13:08 - Delight and mirth

June 29, 2018

0:00 - Designing the dying process

3:30 - Choice in the way we go about dying

8:20 - Speaking the truth

Questions to consider on your own

What would it look like to include others in your death?

What do you believe a “good death” is?

Who do you want to openly share your experience with?

What could you say right now?

How could you simply be with your loved ones?

© 2023 by Lauren Tenney & Rob McNamara